Character Development

Sometimes you just gotta do it for the plot! I may need to heal more, but it’s fun to make semi reckless decisions..sometimes. That’s how I’m rationalizing my decision making skills these days. I notice that since becoming sober over a year ago, I subconsciously try to manufacture drama. Sometimes I just get bored and want a little excitement. It’s been a challenge trying to define fun with the absence of alcohol. There was a time in my life where being bored and tipsy was more exciting than just being bored. I guess I just need to figure out what I’m actually searching for. I need to fully turn the page. There’s a part of me that wants things to stay the same because it feels safe. Lameeee. I can be such a creature of habit over the most mundane things. Like I’ve been wanting to try blonde brows for ages, but when I do my makeup I’ll think, “another time!” Like girl. Just fucking do it, it’s not that deep. Brows are small but it shows me that just because things are one way doesn’t mean they have to continue to be that way.