Repression

Lately I’ve been thinking about some of my choices and patterns. I quickly realized that I have been self imposing repression. I began to connect these dots when I started to really interrogate myself on why I gave up alcohol over a year ago. I have the subconscious belief that I need to be “good” to not bring anymore misfortune into my life. I equate “good” with feeling repressed. I didn’t believe that I was supposed to fully enjoy life. There had to be some part of me that kept my feet on the ground. I believed that enjoying life was dangerous. Life is dangerous and safe whether you’re having fun or not. I need to exist more in the middle instead of having such a binary approach to life. I’m currently locked in on a few goals that I’m accomplishing, so I need to be focused. But when I get there, I’m letting this weave down, sipping on pretty cocktails  and will make beautiful memories. Cheers divas!