Thoughts n tingz

I’m up early and I’m thinking about how my relationship with myself has evolved/deepened these past few years. I’m so deeply proud of myself for not being afraid of starting over and continuing to trust myself. Growing up, I felt that I never really had the chance to develop a healthy relationship with myself due to being constantly criticized at home, school and work. The combination of these negative experiences all at once made me develop somewhat of a victim mentality. I felt that no one would ever genuinely like me in any capacity. I didn’t feel that genuine, respectful platonic or romantic dynamics were in the cards for me. So for a while, I just started accepting whatever people would give me even if I knew deep down that I deserved better. I would convince myself that my “friends” didn’t not respect me. In hindsight, some of the treatment I used to excuse was borderline cruel, but I know better now. One thing that I want to continue to work on is becoming more comfortable around people. I went through about a 2 year period of isolation because I was BEYOND over and traumatized by my social life, so I kinda forgot what it was like to be in the company of others. This can only be fixed by being more social, which I have been. My pride month was great!

Anyways, it’s a new month and I’m excited to redevelop some healthier habits. I’ve been eating out and going out…a lot. A time was had! However, I can’t have too much fun if my work isn’t done. (words to live by) I’ve been working on some sketches/concepts and I’m excited to bring my ideas to life again. Happy July Divas<3