Time to lock in🍸

It’s time for me to lock in! I’ve been doing what I’ve needed to do but I’ve been on my phone a lot this past week. I need to refocus and not waste anymore time. I got things to do and people to see! I have the day off tomorrow, so I HAVE to record all day. I want to end this year off feeling good. I feel good when I spend my time right.
Also I’ve been thinking about drinking again. I chose to give up alcohol so that I could be fully present with myself and because it’s healthier. I used alcohol to ease my anxiety, but I’ve done so much work to address my anxiety. But now I’m starting to miss the feeling of being tipsy on a Saturday night or just unwinding. I’m realizing that I need more balance in my life. Me always being so on top of myself and in control is a trauma response. I refuse to let myself slip through the cracks and I know that I’m the only person I can depend on so I can be too cautious after a period of recklessness. Was I reckless or was I just young? I’ve earned the right to let go and just live. I don’t give myself enough credit for my ability to take care of myself. I always felt like a failure when it came to keeping myself safe due to situations that were so far out of my control. I equate eliminating alcohol with keeping myself safe. Even though alcohol has never been a reason I was unsafe, personally. Maybe I’ll pop some champagne when I reach my next goal, who knows?! I just want to enjoy my twenties. Merry Christmas Divas🎄